Alzheimer’s Claims Another Victim – We Must Get Serious and Find a Cure
In Memory of my Dad Walt G Groth Jr. – April 1, 1930 to April 19, 2009
On Sunday April 19, my dad Walt G Groth Jr passes away at 5:00pm after a difficult battle with Alzheimer’s disease. The end was peaceful, he just took a breath and then he didn’t. We were all there at his bedside, myself, my sister Wendy and my mom Karen. Mom and dad had been married for 55 years. He was 79 years old and was first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease five years ago. It seemed so unfair as he was in wonderful physically shape and still worked daily in his business as a health care benefit consultant and played golf 2-3 times a week.
Shortly after the diagnosis we talked to his business partner and secretary and together we all realized that he had probably been fighting the disease for much longer, maybe even 5 years. He worked hard to compensate and hide his growing memory problems from his business associates and from us but we found out later that it was at a great cost to himself both physically and emotionally. We had noticed a change in his attitude but wrote it off to difficulties with his diabetes and the fact that he was also bi-polar.
I think this is the reason that the disease seemed to progress quicker than normal for Dad and in just a year after his diagnosis mom could no longer care for him at home as he would wander off or call a cab and try to go shopping for things they did not need such as cars and such. Many different complications arose between the Alzheimer’s, the diabetes and his bi-Polar disorder and those problems required frequent hospitalization to try and balance all the many different medications. This was never pretty.
After 2 years it became necessary to move him to a locked facility for his own safety. For a year or so we brought him home a few times a week but even that had to stop 1 ½ years ago because he became so agitated when we took him back. The worst part was he just did not understand why we “deserted him” so it was more confusing for him to go back and forth. It broke all of our hearts that he felt we had “thrown him away”. That was the hardest part for me but there were no better options since my sister and I lived in TN and Mom and Dad lived in FL.
This last year has been horrible to watch, as dad was an incredibly fastidious man and would have been horrified to know he no longer wore his teeth or a belt. One of his biggest joys was a new haircut and so the staff would pretend to cut it for him and help him get dressed up for “business meetings”. Most days he knew us as either his wife or daughter and that was good enough for us. He always remembered the light of his life, his grandson Walter James and for that I am so thankful.
A week before his passing mom called to say the time was soon. He did not know her and had caught bug and had stopped eating and drinking. Wendy and I rushed to FL but I still did not believe it till I saw him. I had just seen him 3 weeks before during a regular visit but he was almost unrecognizable. He had lost at least 20 pounds. It was quite a shock.
As we sat with him over the last week it was wonderful to get a chance to talk to everyone who had been taking care of him over the last year. We had a chance to reminisced about his many escapes. He holds the record for the most successful escapes from the locked flours at Sable Palms where he stayed. Even though it was dangerous, whenever he got away, it was hard not to congratulate him and say “you go Dad” too!
We were so blessed to have him in Sable Palms. The staff truly loved him and appreciated all his idiosyncrasies. Dad could be difficult when he did not get his own way, as he was used to being in control and the staff always found a way to get the necessary things done while letting him believe he was the boss. As we waited while he hovered there not quite in this world and not quite in Heaven, each shift change would troupe in to say their goodbyes. The men were so tender while they cared for him and they touched him with the same care they would a baby.
We will all miss him terribly but since Alzheimer’s is such a horrible disease, that slowly robs you day by day of the person you love, it is nice to know he could go on to be with Jesus sooner rather than later. Many times over the last year I went to bed praying for God to take him home but then feeling guilty that I would wish him dead. It is such a confusing feeling. I can’t imagine dealing with Alzheimer 10-15 years but many families do. We must figure out a way to fund more research because as our population continues to age the number of people who get Alzheimer’s continues to grow exponentially.
I also want to thank all my clients who have so patient during this difficult time. I am reminded that death (and birth) is never convenient or on our schedule so when these times come into our life all we can do is try to be available to our family and friends and be honest to those who we work for and hope they understand. I am so blessed because each of my clients has been patient and incredibly understanding. Thank you to each and every one of you.
